A Statement on Divorce & Remarriage - Part 1

Divorce is painful. It is emotionally more wrenching than the death of a spouse. It is often long years in coming and long years in the settlement and in the adjustment. The upheaval of life is immeasurable. The sense of failure and guilt and fear torture the soul. Like the psalmist, night after night a spouse falls asleep with tears. Work performance is hindered. People draw near or withdraw with uncertain feelings. Loneliness can be overwhelming. A sense of a devastated future can be all consuming. Courtroom controversy compounds the personal misery.

Then there is often the agonizing place of children. Parents hope against hope that the scars will not cripple them or ruin their own marriages someday. Tensions over custody and financial support deepen the wounds. Awkward and artificial visitation rights can lengthen the tragedy over decades.

Jesus was an extraordinarily caring person. His teaching on divorce and remarriage was also firm: "What God has joined together let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9). In fact, firm and loving confrontation with the demands of Christ is a form of caring, because a sinful decision is just as harmful to a person as the emotional pain.

The great challenge to the church in the face of divorce and remarriage is to love Biblically. John wrote, "By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments" (1 John 5:2). In other words, the test of true love to people is not only the feeling of compassion in the heart but also conformity to the commandments of God in behavior. The great challenge is to mingle the tears of compassion with the tough love of obedience. This alone will honor Christ and preserve the spiritual health and power of the church.

Why is there a special concern with Divorce and Remarriage?

1.    People who come to MVCC want to know where MVCC stands on this issue.

2.    Inside the church, people need clarification about where the leadership of the church stands and what the church’s position is on these issues.

3.    Divorce involves sin that is more destructive than many others. The hurtful impact of a broken marriage on the spouses and the children and the web of relationships surrounding the marriage is immense.

4.    Divorce is thrown into the public limelight by the recognition in our society that it must be handled by the civil courts.

5.    Marriage, divorce and remarriage involve the mingling of solemn oaths and sacred physical union unlike any other relationship.

6.    Marriage is unique among all relationships in that it is set apart by God to signify to the world the relationship between His Son and His bride, the church (Eph. 5:21-33). Therefore, the breaking of this bond is extraordinary among all human bonds.

7.    Divorce falls into that group of acts which when they are committed are very hard to undo. The words, "I'm sorry," can make right many sins against another person, but not divorce and remarriage.

8.    Divorce happens by plan and intention of one or both spouses. It is not like a habit against which one struggles with successes and failures.

9.    Divorce has reached epidemic proportions in our culture to the extent that even secular leaders are groping for a place to stand that may preserve the stability of the home.

 

Is Divorce or Remarriage the Unforgivable Sin?

When divorce begins to be discussed in this way it is common for someone to ask whether divorce is the unforgivable sin. The answer is found in the following texts:

"Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins" (Hebrews 9:22).

"(Jesus said) this is my blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the forgiveness of sins" (Matthew 26:28).

"Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name" (Acts 10:43).

"All sins will be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter; but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness but is guilty of an eternal sin" (Mark 3:28).

"Let the wicked man forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon" (Isaiah 55:7).

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

These promises communicate that forgiveness for sins is available on the basis of the shed blood of Jesus. Forgiveness is available for all sins, without exception. Forgiveness is received freely through trusting Christ. And trusting Christ involves confessing sin as sin and turning away from it to embrace the ways of God with joy.

The only unforgivable sin is the sin of refusing to repent and believe in Jesus Christ as Savior. Neither divorce nor remarriage is in itself the unforgivable sin any more than murder, stealing, lying or coveting. "All sins will be forgiven the sons of men" (Mark 3:28). God is faithful and just to forgive - he will honor the worth of his Son's sacrifice for all who confess their sin and bank their hope on the saving work of Christ.

Therefore, marital sin is in the same category as lying and killing and stealing when it comes to church discipline and church membership. If someone has lied, killed, stolen, or illegitimately divorced, the issue is not if they can be forgiven, the issue is if they admit that what they did was sin. Do they renounce it and do what they can to make it right?

What makes divorce and remarriage seem to be a special matter of concern in the church is that very seldom does someone affirm the rightness of lying, killing, and stealing. But people often affirm the rightness of divorce and remarriage.

In other words what usually causes the conflict is not whether divorce and remarriage are unforgivable sins, but whether they are sins at all - to be confessed (from the past) and to be avoided (in the future).

So, the issue concerning divorce and remarriage at MVCC is what can be agreed upon from the Scripture as right and wrong. Is there a Biblically legitimate divorce and remarriage which is not sin and so does not need to be confessed or avoided? If so, what are the circumstances that define it?

 

Diversity of Viewpoints

Among the membership of MVCC complete unanimity does not exist concerning the question what divorces and what remarriages are Biblically permissible. This lack of unanimity is a reflection of the evangelical church worldwide.

Devout evangelical Biblical scholars disagree. John Murray has written a standard work on the topic called Divorce, (Phillipsburg, N.J.: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub. Co. 1961). In this book he defends the view that divorce and remarriage are Biblically permitted when a partner is adulterous or when a partner deserts willfully and irremediably.

On the other side William Heth and Gordon Wenham have written a book called Jesus and Divorce (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1984). They defend the position that while divorce may at times be unavoidable, all remarriage while the partners are living is wrong. There are many other books on both sides. [1]

To be a Biblically-based church, the question that must be faced is: what convictions concerning divorce and remarriage can be agreed upon as a church?

No one in leadership can be asked to act against their conscience (Romans 14). Therefore, each Pastor will teach and counsel and perform marriages according to personal conviction within the parameters of this statement. But when it comes to church membership and discipline there must be found a level of expectation for marital relations that no member of MVCC may violate while remaining a member in good standing.

In other words, a statement of the kind of divorce and remarriage which the church, as a concerned and responsible body, will regard as clearly outside the Biblical limits of what is acceptable is needed.

Let it be made clear again what was said above: there is NO past divorce or remarriage that in itself brings church involvement. None of the divorced and remarried members of MVCC will automatically come under scrutiny because their divorce or remarriage falls in a category which this statement declares to be unbiblical. Our prayer is that all divorced and remarried brothers and sisters will gladly affirm this statement.